Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
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