I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
