OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
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