Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
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