he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
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