oh god the rape fog is back!
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
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