Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
Randomize
