Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
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