I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
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