eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
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Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
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I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
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