How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Randomize
