i'm signing you up for texting rehab
bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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