Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
Randomize
