On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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