A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
I forgot how hot balto sounded
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
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