fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
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