Christians are straight up FREAKS
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
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