The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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