What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
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