Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
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