I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Randomize
