Your mouth is God's brothel.
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Randomize
