seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
Is Oprah even human
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Randomize
