Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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