Where is the hickey?
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
I just had sex on a roof
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
