mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Randomize
