It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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