THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
Is it because I queefed?
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
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she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
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Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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