why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
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Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
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How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
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