then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
