I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
my sisters under your porch take her home
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
