i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
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