id be glad to
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
I just found puke in my bra..
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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