17 year olds will be the death of me.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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