eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
There's always time for handjobs
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
Randomize