We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
