he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
well, you know. whores of a feather.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
