your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
