did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
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