My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Randomize
