The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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