New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize
