Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
Go christen that room with your naked body.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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