you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
Randomize
