Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Randomize
