My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
