Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
