right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
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