if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
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