are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
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