Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
