ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
Randomize
