just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
