Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
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